Followup on Jack and Helen

I called Mother on October 26th to chat, and later in the conversation I asked if she knew whether jack and Helen had been married yet. I wasn't sure she'd know but to my surprise she exclaimed, "Oh yes, it was Saturday night and it was a big event. The whole community was there, crowded into the dining room." She told me about the ceremony out in the Grand Court area, with an arch all decorated with flowers where they said their vows, lots of people, lots of food and cake and ice cream.

I was so glad to hear about it, and doubly glad to hear about it from her. Recent events have often eluded her memory. Sometimes with prompting it will come back that Nate and Kathy have taken her to dinner or Sarah paid a visit, but often it all disappears once the day is over. I've wondered sometimes if she is dealing with the losses of old age by living moment by moment and letting days fade into each other. She has said as much in reference to her hospitalizations and illnesses in recent years:" I think I just blank that memory out." In this same conversation I was asking her for more stories of her childhood and her siblings, as my Woodward cousins were curious about their father. "Since you are the last of your generation, " I explained. Not for the first time she asked if her sister Janet was gone, and I had to tell her again.

I know some of the memory problems are from ministroke activity and the like. But I suspect some things are too unhappy to keep thinking about. Mother has always been very good at enjoying her life, finding something to be happy about. She couldn't understand Dad's worrying- she said if something bad was going to happen, why ruin the present as well by anticipating trouble. When I was a turbulent adolescent I thought that meant she lacked intellectual depth. Now I appreciate the deep wisdom of that attitude.

So she remembered Jack and Helen's happy night. Perhaps the newlyweds have brought some excitement to the dinner table, infected those around them with their hope and their faith.